Adult Children of Abuse and Neglect for Survivors of Childhood Emotional Pain, Physical Trauma, Incest, Violence, and Other Family Problems.


In this busy world, it's normal for a couple to fall into a relationship rut. Doing the same thing over and over grinds the excitement out of a relationship. Couples can use this event as a springboard to recapture past magic. Tips for honoring each other (only do what fits your values):

	Plan at least one or more dates per week. Many long-term couples make the mistake of not continuing to date each other.

	Do new things together. Drive somewhere different, take a class, go for walks and more.

	Tell each other what made you fall in love when first starting your relationship.

	Pretend to be on your first date again. Dress the part and go out to the same or similar places.

	Respect and explore your spiritual values together.

	Take turns reading parts of an erotic book to each other while in bed.

	Watch sex education videos and try new pleasuring techniques.

	Set a sensual mood with music and scented candles. Take your time at slowly pleasuring each other.

	Give cards often expressing how much you care.

	Make at least one positive comment about your partner each day.

	Treat each other as best friends.

	Practice the "Golden Rule" of showing your mate the consideration you want shown to you.

	Double your hugs and kisses.

	Once a week discuss ways to make your relationship better. Plan what you will do next week to share more romance.

	Practice the "7 Keys" to further your relationship success:



	FRIENDSHIP - Nothing else in your relationship is more vital for sustaining its trust, depth and endurance. Nurture it constantly so that both of you feel confident and secure in each other's heart and mind. Share kisses and embraces mornings and nights, at times hold hands or walk arm-and-arm when out on prearranged or surprise "dates". Make mutual affection a habit that shows. Learn fully about each other's family upbringing and outlook on life.

	COMMUNICATION - Meet at least once a week for an hour or more to discuss your deepest feelings and matters of mutual concern (needs, finances, family, work, etc.) Most important, practice listening intently to one another with minimal interruptions. Aim for clarity and understanding.

	RESPECT - Settle your differences through negotiation and compromise as equals in the relationship who may disagree at times, but value each other's opinions and attitudes. Try identifying with your partner's points-of-view and use that empathy to resolve disputes. Make no harsh judgements of who is "right" or "wrong".

	VARIETY - Climb out of ruts and adventure together with hot air ballooning, walks over new terrain, interesting seminars, wine tasting, etc. Go for a spontaneous ride in your car and discover new places. Learn massage techniques and discover new ways to touch each other.

	PRAISE - Keep an ear and eye tuned to what you genuinely appreciate about your lover - whether it's physical, emotional or intellectual. Once, twice or more often every day, express your admiration in words and gestures. Never talk mechanically, but with heartfelt sentiment and warmth.

	THOUGHTFULNESS - Plan surprises that say your partner truly matters. Take on chores that are normally your mate's. Leave loving messages on greeting cards under pillows, in cabinets or the fridge, etc. Give flowers and/or balloons when your partner has had a particularly hard day.

	PLAY - Romp in childlike, hilarious games for two: a gentle pillow fight, tickling within bounds, playing doctor short of malpractice. Drop all restraints while you take turns reading aloud and acting out sensuous stories. Imagine yourselves as fictitious characters and be a Rhett Butler to her Scarlet O'Hara. Maybe act out being a ravishing spy seducing a gullible American scientist. People having fun together stay together.